Haven’t weighed in, but at least i’m having fun?

I’m forcing myself to attend my Weight Watchers meeting this weekend and I’m going to weigh in, no matter what! It’s been nearly 1 whole month, or one membership payment of $44.95, since I’ve attended or tracked my daily food intake (remember how I said in my previous post that my self-destructive habits cost me money? About that…).

In other news, life has been good. I’ve been more intentional about spending time with God, getting at least 7 hours of sleep, taking my vitamins, spending time with my friends, and doing things that get me out of my comfort zone. Here’s an “adventurous-but-not-really-adventurous things that Rebekah did recently” list:

  • Veggie shopping at two local farmers markets: I’ve been meaning to shop locally and I finally did. Also bought kombucha, kimchi, rum, beef brisket, and a half-peck of apples.
  • Made my own gentle exfoliant scrub out of organic oatmeal, dried pink rosebuds, and dried chamomile loose leaf tea. The recipe was inspired by my soul twin, Jaime,  who is wholeheartedly a natural gal. Loves to make her own beauty products, home care products, etc, and she came for a visit. So naturally (pun intended), we concocted some things like deodorant, body spray, and heartburn relief serum. My skin is happy with the scrub, and I’m excited to try a new recipe. Picture below embodies us: tree huggers.
  • Hiked Sugarloaf Mountain for the first time and ended up walking a total of 10 miles that day!
  • Visited the batting cages with old friends that I reconnected with and had a great time even though I literally hit, like, 1 out of every 10 baseballs.
  • Had a photo shoot in DC with some buddies who are basically models and really good at posing/taking pictures. Posing for pictures feels weird to me, so I resort to my usual cheese-ball smile and keep my arms by my sides. But my friends are bringing me out of my shell and it’s boosting me ❤

Not all that exciting, but meaningful to me nonetheless. I’ve been eating well the past few days, in hopes of bringing my weight back to where it was before I weigh in this weekend. We’ll see how it goes and I’ll keep you posted!

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I’m just a little bit caught in the middle

This post is gonna be odd and personal. I’m being more open and honest than usual and you might judge me, but bear with me. We’re all a work in progress, right?

There’s a scene in He’s Just Not That Into You where Justin Long’s character tells Ginnifer Goodwin’s character that women live for a little bit of drama. He rhetorically asks her if she purposely waits till the last minute to pay her bills just to see if she can make it on time. Of course, she makes a face that tells the viewer she’s thinking “omg, how did he know?”

Despite its semi-sexist faults, I love this stupid movie because I relate to it far too much. Other than the fact that I have a habit of being into men that aren’t into me, I’ve noticed that like Ginnifer Goodwin’s character, I too live for a little bit of drama and it feels kinda gross to admit it. I’m not a traditional thrill-seeker that enjoys base jumping, cliff diving, skydiving, race car driving activities or what have you. I like being safe and alive, thank you very much.

Rather, I take risks in mundane day-to-day activities to see how much I can get away with. It’s weird, but I think a lot of people subconsciously (or consciously) do the same thing. I’ll sleep in and wait until the very last minute to start getting ready for work just to see if I’ll make it in by 8:30 am. I’ll wait to pay my bills to see if I have enough money to cover ’em or i’ll pay them late to see if i’ll really be charged a late fee. I let my mail pile up and open it all maybe once per month to see if anything was actually important. I’ll start talking to a guy i’m interested in and when I see him again, I’ll ignore him or say something smart to ruffle his feathers just to see how he’ll react (why am I single? lol).  I’ll speed past a street camera to see if i’ll really get a ticket. And I know i’m not the only one who wrote 20 page papers in college the night before they were due just to see if I could make the deadline. I can hear Paramore’s “Caught in the Middle” lyrics now:

I don’t need no help, I can sabotage me by myself.

This weird habit spills over into my weight loss journey as well. After big losses like 3 or 4 lbs in a week, I tend to splurge ever-so-slightly the following week to see if I can keep that weight off while eating more. Sometimes I eat wayyyy more, on purpose, knowing full well that it’s not a smart move, but I’m “curious” to see if I can still lose weight. It makes no logical sense whatsoever, but I do it. And I usually gain some weight back *shocker*. Then I lose it the next week, gain the week after that, and this weird self-sabotaging cycle goes on.

I don’t know why I take nonsensical risks like this and I probably need to see a therapist about it. It’s expensive, emotionally/physically taxing, and quite frankly, I might as well take money out of the ATM and throw it in the garbage rather than take risks with bills and speeding cameras.

All of that being said, I’m supposed to weigh in this Saturday and I’m nervous to do so because I’ve been stress eating for nearly the past two weeks. A lot of damage can be done in two weeks. But hey, thanks to my weird cycle, I’ll probably lose it all next week! Bad joke, I know.

I forgot I had a blog…hello again, friends!

Shout out to my good friend, Jazmine, who started her own lovely blog called Big Beautiful Faith! I was commenting on her post about waiting till marriage to have sex and remembered that I also had a WordPress blog once upon a time! Now that I’ve found it, I feel motivated to start writing again.

The last time I wrote a blog entry here, I was a 24-year-old grad student who had gone on a date with a cute guy named Micah. He told me about the Keto diet and I gave it a try for about 5 minutes (all of which was briefly recorded on this blog before I said “screw this” and stopped writing). Boy, some things have changed since then. For starters, along with my blog, I neglected my physical health, spiritual health, gained about 35lbs, and had a few come-to-Jesus moments with my gracious God.

I’ve also gone on a series of mediocre dates with other cute (some not so cute) boys and I’m proud to say i’m still single. I don’t intend for that statement to sound sarcastic, but I suppose it does. What I mean is that for the first time in my life, I’m content with my singleness and I find joy in spending quality time with the people I love, which leaves little room for loneliness or self-pity to fester in my mind. I know God wants to bless me with the right man, but i’m still in the stages of preparation and healing. It’ll happen when it happens.

I’m now 27-years-old (about to be 28 in November), I’ve unintentionally stopped dating (living a more stress-free life, go figure), had my heart broken (long story short: I should’ve never entertained him to begin with – sin has consequences) joined Weight Watchers (lost 15 lbs so far), went on a few vacations including Israel (life-changing trip),  and wholeheartedly committed my life to God (eternally thankful that He never let me go). All of this embarrassing emotional profuseness is scribbled in my journals rather than the internet. Those will have to be burned someday.

I’m going to keep this blog up as a catch-all for my thoughts, but the main focus will probably be my weight loss journey. And man, it’s a journey! Thank you for reading this! Time to re-design this blog and update my bio, huh?

Starting weight: 258.2

Current weight: 244.0

Goal weight: 180

Total weight loss: 14.2

Weigh-in Tuesday: Week 4

I gained 1.8lbs 😦

Beginning weight: 229.8 lbs

Current weight: 223.6 lbs

Total weight loss: 6.2 lbs

Now, at first I was pissed. Really pissed. I’ve been on track for 4 solid weeks and honestly, I was expecting something like a 3-pound drop this week as a reward, ha.

But then I realized: “I’ve been eating a lot lately and I’ve had crazy cravings….have I gotten my period this month yet?!”

So that’s it. I’m supposed to start my monthly this week and the people at my gym say it affects weight.

Actually, menstrual cycles can cause you to gain up to 10 pounds due to water retention…WHAT?!

Anyway, click on this link to read some really interesting information about periods/weight gain.

And wish me luck for next week’s weigh-in!

Keto-friendly bread? Waffles? WHAT.

The other day I was scrolling through some keto recipes and found quite a few that I really wanted to try like chai tea lattes, peanut butter cups, crackers, and BREAD. BREAD, I TELL YOU!

I made the buns and they turned out bread-like-but-totally-not-bread. The one thing i’d change about the recipe is the garlic & onion powder. It was a bit too savory for me (but then again, I prefer “boring” bread like french or wheat). Anyway, I used the bread as a bun for a bison burger and overall, it was really tasty. It’s preferred that we eat 80/20 ground beef while on keto, but I really like ground bison meat, so that’s what we had in the fridge for me to eat.

Keto bread

This morning, I decided to attempt this ridiculously perfect-looking Raspberry Brie Grilled Cheese Waffle recipe. Check. This. Out.

Brie Waffles

Waffle bfast

The second picture is a bit blurry, sorry about that. But goodness gracious glory be hallelujah, LOOK AT IT. I promise, it was as delicious as it looks. Kind of labor intensive, sure. But well worth it. I think I’d only eat it every once in a while, however, because it’s very rich.

Other than my cooking adventures this weekend, I’ve been doing well and staying on track, generally. My parents and I went to a wonderful food/cooking store today and they had samples all over the store. I caved in a couple times and tried various jams with a small cracker…How can I NOT sample apple jalapeño jam or cranberry horseradish jelly? Come on. Confession time: I think the samples messed with me a little bit because I have heartburn now for the first time while on keto 😦

Weigh-in Tuesday: Week 3

I lost 2.6 lbs. YAY! I’m feeling very encouraged by the change and I’m looking forward to the rest of this journey…which I guess is…the rest of my life? I don’t know. I understand that the keto lifestyle is possible and I understand that many people live by it  for reasons other than to lose weight. But I’m not sure if I can do that because I really miss bread and rice and tortillas and beans. However, with this weight coming off and my cravings under control, I feel like, ‘yea totally, this is awesome!’ But as a lifestyle????? Shoot, I dunno man. We’ll see.

Beginning weight: 229.8 lbs

Current weight: 221.8 lbs

Total weight loss: 8 lbs

My mom just made this and I’m praising sweet Jesus because I can eat it:

Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at 2.58.17 PM

My waist is getting smaller & my bum remains the same *le sigh*

I’ve been feeling dizzy today and I’m not sure why. I had a substantial keto-friendly breakfast of eggs with low-carb sausage and a bit of mayo and for lunch I had some chicken, zucchini, and alfredo sauce. My water intake has been decent, so I’m not sure why I feel tired and a bit dizzy.

Confession time: I cheated for the first time! But that’s not why I’m dizzy today, because I cheated on Friday…Is it possible to feel the effects of cheating two days later? Am I going through the “keto-flu” thing again? I really don’t think so. Anyway, my treat to myself was a medium chai-tea latte from Starbucks made with whole milk. My heart and my mouth were happy while I sipped on that long-awaited latte. And that’s all I cheated with, I didn’t go completely overboard!

But to be honest, it kinda screwed with me. Afterwards, I was really craving sugar in the form of chocolate or cookies or brownies. Ugh, cravings are awful. I restrained myself from eating leftover Halloween candy (yay, go me) and last night I made keto-friendly brownies. They turned out alright. I mean, the texture is more like a cake than a brownie but at least I got my chocolate fix. Also, I couldn’t get all the chunks of cream cheese to dissolve so I have little white bits of it in the brownies, haha.

So it’s Day 20 and I wanted to share this picture, because my waist is really shrinking! IT’S WORKING, GUYS. I’m getting leaner, hooray! When I lose weight, it tends to come off the top half of my body first. The measurements of my lower half have all stayed the same but my waist/stomach has gone down an inch. 🙂 …I know this wasn’t the most optimal place to take a selfie…sorry.

Shrinking waist

TGIF

Hi, friends! Keto is going well! Now, as I said before, even though I only lost 1 pound this past week, I can tell that I’m making great progress by my energy levels and the way I physically feel. My body feels…tighter? Leaner? Something I noticed is that a lot of people who start keto usually don’t exercise at first. For me, I need to go to the gym and I go about 3x per week. I do 30 minutes of strength training exercises and then 30 minutes of cardio either on the treadmill or the elliptical. I think the combination of eating healthy and exercise is why I feel leaner.

Today I decided to wear this beautiful blazer I bought about 4 months ago for work. When I bought it, I could only have it buttoned if I was standing up (and sucking my tummy in a bit). Now, I’m sitting here typing this post with the jacket buttoned and I’m perfectly comfortable in it. This is progress and it feels amazing!

My mom made alfredo pasta the other day, WHY GOD, WHY? I suppose I can’t complain because I was still able to eat the pasta sauce, which she made with chicken, mushrooms, and zucchini. Nom. I’m eating some of that for lunch today along with mixed greens with caesar dressing, raw almonds, pork rinds with Cholula hot sauce, unsweetened tea, and lots of water. Oh, and for breakfast, I’ve been able to defrost some of the egg frittata muffins I made earlier. It’s really convenient to have food ready in the freezer. Just defrost, and you’re good to go. I’ll probably defrost some of that chili I made a couple weeks ago and have that for dinner. 🙂

IT’S FRIDAY, I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY YOUR DAY! Happy dieting! ❤

Weigh-in tuesday: Week 2

I lost 1lb. UGH. I know I’m being a hypocrite here because I once said that the number doesn’t matter, but it does matter a little to me 😛 . Something I can’t be upset about, however, is that my body fat percentage went down from 45.3% to 44.3%, which is apparently good (a mere 1%? Ok, I’ll take it).

Current weight: 224.4lbs

Total weight loss: 5.4lbs

Current body fat: 44.3%

Today, I made low-carb pepperoni pizza and it turned out really good. I feel like I could eat the whole thing but I know I shouldn’t…ha.